saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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