you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
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It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
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You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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