handjob tips. give me some.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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