come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
