I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
