Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
