This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
