Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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