So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
