I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
