I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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