I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Randomize
