You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
