Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm at about main and main street
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
