I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
