Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize