My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
