wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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