Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
