We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
