So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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