After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
