How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
