If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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