How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He shit in the fireplace
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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