It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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