bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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