Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
