..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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