a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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