life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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