Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
