Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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