Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
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You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
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He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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