sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
