found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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