Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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