do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Someone came in the potted fern
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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