Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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