May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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