A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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