i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize