we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
