What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
