I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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