She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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