1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
