So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
