When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
