he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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