I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We talked him into tasing himself.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
