my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize