Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
