He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
