U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
