i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
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I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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