I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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