I like my sex mixed with concussions.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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