you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
