you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
