it was like his penis was on wheels.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
