so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
