Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
