did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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