Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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